Eddie Lowe
Just A Thought
My young heart raced as the glass soda bottle spun on the old plywood. The tip of the bottle went from boy to girl, boy to girl, each of us seated as such (these were the rules). The pop bottle slowed and stopped on a giggly girl. An innocent peck of a kiss leaning over the board and then it was the next person’s turn to spin the bottle. So began “love” for me. Or there was the first “real” kiss from a neighborhood girl. At a tender elementary age, our education on what a kiss was apparently came from a daytime soap, because as she leaned forward her mouth was wide open and I remember thinking… “love hurts!”
It’s funny looking back on my concept of love growing up. As a child of the 80’s, some of my Friday nights found me listening to the Top 40 on the radio. And there was always the “long distance dedication” as listeners would call in to profess their love to so-and-so. If you are from my era, you might remember those perfume-soaked love letters in middle school with the words “I love you, do you love me?” A quick glance showed two boxes, with a yes in one and a no in the other. If it was really serious, there’d be a box saying maybe.
And then there was your first real love. A sweaty hand extended to be held– if taken, then the deal was done, you were going steady! Long phone calls with an even longer phone cord stretched from the kitchen to a semi-closed bedroom. Then came the cordless phone, when a low battery meant it was time to drift off and dream of your future together. I even went so far as to present a cubic zirconia ring purchased off channel 45 to seal one relationship.
Do you remember your first break up? For me it stung, maybe because I had to get my blue jean jacket back (80’s tradition).
Then there was going to my first prom. I rented a solid white tuxedo with tails and wore a pink cummerbund with super shiny shoes. If I think back, I can still feel the sting of hairspray in my mullet. In my time, prom meant driving to Winston for a fancy meal and then returning to the high school to dance– or, in my case, jump around which was my idea of dancing. A slow song would play and I’d switch from jumping around to swaying back and forth, trying not to step on her toes with my rented, uncomfortable shiny shoes.
My childhood was filled with love and serious relationships. I suppose it started on the playground in a cloud of dust, as one girl emerged from beating up a boy. I remember thinking “she’ll be a good girlfriend because after all, she’d protect me!” Sadly, upon signing my yearbook, she wrote some bogus phone number with a couple extra digits.
Just in case a time machine is invented and you find yourself in the ‘80s and looking for love, I’ve put together a checklist of things you’ll need to have and do.
#1- The Mixtape. You must be skilled in pressing the play and record button at the same time. Also, if the song is recorded off the TV, then you must be quiet during the whole song.
#2- Get a huge bottle of hairspray. Either aqua net or white rain should suffice. Your scalp will sting, but the mullet needs reinforcement. Also, you’re looking for business up front and party in the back, which translates to a possible perm in the back. Sidebar, a trend will come along called a “rat tail,” so don’t cut your hair length!
#3- You’ll need to secure these clothes: Panama Jack shirt , used army field jacket, faded blue jean jacket, izod shirt, members only jacket, parachute pants… the more zippers the better.
#4- If at all possible, learn to moonwalk now because that one dance move will become epic.
#5- Speaking of which… learn to breakdance now! I can’t stress enough how this one skill will increase your level of cool!
#6- Your car is key to your success. Please remember when purchasing tires to turn the white letters out. There’ll be a wheel called saw blades, be ready to purchase those! Your car will need 6×9 door speakers with ear-piercing treble. You’ll also have to get a good amp and subwoofers. Buy a car with T-Tops, they will leak but that’s ok. Be prepared to ride bumper to bumper for hours crammed in a car with friends listening to loud music. Guys will need to learn the air guitar (which is neat because it doesn’t take up any space).
#7- As a personal bonus given for reading this far, take a house phone and unplug the phone and cord (cord will be curly). Put the phone in the car hiding the plug somewhere in the dash. Next, record a phone ringing on tape (remember press play and record at the same time). Upon arrival at a “cruise-in,” wait until you’re positioned beside another car and insert your tape of the phone ringing. Now, place the phone to your ear and press stop on the tape with the other hand. You’re guaranteed to look cool with this move… ask me how I know!
