Blake’s Take

Blake Johnson
Blake’s Take

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your question. You are not losing value, nor are you acting paranoid. It is normal to feel less valuable, or even lost at times, as we age and transition through the stages of life. Many factors contribute to these feelings, and everyone transitions differently. The key is to find the source of your devalued feelings and rebuild your perception of self-worth.

A common thief of self-worth is the life cycle itself. One day you are starting a family, beginning a career, and taking on certain roles in the community. You have children and a spouse that depend on you for certain tasks. Your job is new, and you are excited about the contributions you can make to benefit the company. You find yourself volunteering or joining clubs to help make a positive impact in the world around you.

At this stage, you can hardly keep up with life’s demands and it forges a deep sense of value. All too often, it seems like the very next day we are no longer needed. Spousal needs are gone because parental roles have taken their place for so long. Parental needs are gone because your children have gone off to begin their own separate lives. At your job, the new hires come in with fresh ambition and a better understanding of the latest technologies. Even community roles and volunteer positions tend to recycle, making room for new energy. Completing a life stage can leave a void where the sense of being needed once was. It’s during this time that many feel less valuable or even irrelevant.

Just because we momentarily feel less valuable or irrelevant doesn’t mean we are. Children will always need their parents, spouses can renew their relationships, new careers can always be started, and there is always the need for volunteers. Fill the void by planning for what comes next. It may not be as demanding as the previous stage, but accomplishing goals will always boost self-worth and provide a sense of fulfillment. Embrace any newfound freedom and enjoy the ability to act spontaneously, or simply rest.

Another contributor to feeling irrelevant is mental and physical decline. From the moment we are born, our mental capacity, along with our stature and physical ability, increase with age. At some point though, this progression reaches its peak and we begin to naturally regress. This is when some of us may begin to feel less valuable. It’s important to realize that everyone who lives long enough will have this experience. Our bodies are simply designed to slow down and maximize efficiency at some point.

If you are feeling worn down mentally or physically, it’s okay to rest, but remember there is always room to exercise the body and brain. A common phrase referring to the aging brain in psychology is “use it or lose it.” Exercising your mind will help you remain sharp and keep the neurological pathways for learning new things open. Physically, our bodies respond to exercise by maintaining strength and mobility. The longer we challenge our bodies with physical activity, the longer we will be able to perform. If you are forced to slow down by limitations, that’s okay. Tailor your activities to suit your ability.

The formula for maintaining value is simple. Embrace the stage you are in and the freedoms that come with it, but continue to move forward and challenge yourself.  You will never be irrelevant if you never stop improving your life. It’s easier to maintain an enriched and fulfilled life when you’re always working towards something meaningful.

I hope this answers your question and helps you overcome any feelings of irrelevance. No matter where you are in life, you are valuable.

Sincerely,