I have developed a bad habit of comparing myself to others, especially on social media. I’ve noticed it often leaves me feeling inadequate and unhappy about my life. How do I stop this cycle and begin to appreciate my own journey?
Sincerely,
Socially Sad
Blake Johnson
Blake’s Take
Dear Socially Sad,
Thank you for sharing this habit and giving me the opportunity to respond. We all experience periods of dissatisfaction and in those moments it’s easy to begin making comparisons. The desire for growth is part of human nature. However, we must learn to balance that desire with contentment. If we are always striving for more, we will never be satisfied. If we stop progressing, then we become complacent.
I see very little benefit in comparing yourself to others. We are all uniquely born with different talents, struggles, and environments that shape who we are. It doesn’t mean we can’t set similar goals and go after the same things; it just means the route, the timing, and the level of ease will differ. For these reasons, it’s better to measure yourself by your own accomplishments. The only reason I can think of to compare yourself to someone else is if you find it motivating. If you can use it to responsibly propel yourself forward, then have at it.
If you do find it beneficial to make comparisons, at least make sure you are assessing real people. Consider people you know personally who are honest about their lives. Social media is the last place you should look. No one on social media is real. Content usually consists of carefully selected flashes of happiness, loving memories, and successful events. The finished product is nothing more than a highlight reel of an individual’s greatest moments. The few who do choose to include less than glamorous events are probably seeking attention or may even have a more ominous reason. Either way, if the presentations were accurate depictions of daily life, social media would be far less entertaining, and you would likely prefer the life you have to that of others.
When you switch the focus from those around you back to yourself, you should begin to find satisfaction in your own life. It’s easier to see your success when you’re not comparing your life to a fairytale. If you’re still struggling to find your blessings, make a habit of reflecting. Your journey is full of gifts that can be overlooked when you avoid acknowledging them. I suggest taking a moment to celebrate or at least recognize every one of life’s achievements no matter how small. It will help you remember what success feels like and you will naturally begin to seek more of it.
Additionally, take time every day to list things you are grateful for. It’s much harder to feel inadequate or unhappy when you express gratitude. If you still find it difficult to be happy, don’t hesitate to talk to someone or get professional counseling. Sometimes we just need a little extra guidance and support.
We all have things to be happy about– sometimes we just need to look a little harder. Remember when looking at others, we only see what they want us to see. We all have strengths, and we all have weaknesses. The key is to use both to our advantage.
I hope this response helps you appreciate your journey. It is yours and you get to choose every turn. Choose wisely.
Sincerely,
