I am not happy with my boyfriend and would like to end the relationship. The problem is our families are close and spend a lot of time together. I’m worried about how this will affect our families and how things will be afterwards. Any advice?
– Anonymous
Blake Johnson
Blake’s Take
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for writing and trusting me to help you with this predicament. Ending a romantic relationship is not easy and it is hard to know how things will unfold over time.
Depending on the relationship status, waves of emotions can range from extreme relief to total devastation. Those who experience relief upon ending a romantic relationship might find it easy to remain friends while those who experience devastation might find friendship to be impossible. A lot of variables like commitment, desire, attraction, and strength of the bond within the relationship will have influence on future associations.
Usually when we meet someone, we not only begin a relationship with that person, but we also develop a connection with their friends, family, and colleagues. Other times, romantic relationships blossom within networks of already existing relationships. I’m not sure if your relationship came before your families bonded or vice versa, but the circumstances of all associated relationships can affect the outcome.
You are right to be concerned and it is good of you to consider the others who will be affected. Without knowing the details around the relationship between you and your boyfriend and both of your families, I would hate to personally make a prediction, but I will offer a few pieces of advice based on personal experience.
First, I would be direct and honest with your boyfriend telling him you’re not happy, and you do not wish to take the relationship any further. Sometimes people are vague and leave the other person with false hope. False hope will lead the other person on and will eventually have to be confronted again.
Next, it is important to be gentle and compassionate. An ugly breakup would be hard on everyone and make it more difficult to maintain any kind of relationship in the future. You don’t want your families to be uncomfortable or develop any associated animosity.
Finally, if possible, remove yourself from all associated relationships for a while. Breakups are painful and hard to get over, especially while surrounded with constant reminders. Give yourself some space and time to reflect. As they say, “time heals all wounds” and you will likely know when it is okay to reenter that arena.
In a time when people think the world revolves around them, it is refreshing to see someone who is considerate and respectful of others. I’m glad you are thinking about the others involved. Ending a relationship has the potential to ripple out and damage the relationships surrounding it. Hopefully, with my humble advice, you will find a way to end the relationship with minimal collateral damage.
Ultimately, I hope you and your boyfriend can move past this relationship and remain close with each other and your families in the future.
May God bless you all.
Sincerely,
