True Valentine

When I think of Valentine’s Day, I confess I get a bit uncomfortable, even squirmish. I love my wife and do not shy away from spoiling her when I can, but I have never been completely at ease with the way our culture celebrates the day. Chocolates, flowers, heartfelt notes, and fancy dinners are fine. I have given them and received them. Still, something in me always feels like there is more to love than a red box of candy and a Hallmark card.

That is why Valentine’s Day often becomes a moment of reflection for me. Beneath the roses and ribbon, it offers an opportunity to consider the deeper essence of love. Not just the romantic kind, but the kind that echoes the selfless, sacrificial love of God.

John 15:13 captures this beautifully:

“No greater love has any man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

When Jesus spoke those words, He was not talking about buying gifts or writing poems. He was pointing to the cross. He defined love not as a fleeting emotion or a grand romantic gesture, but as sacrifice. That is the part we often forget.

I once heard a story about a husband who woke up at four thirty every morning to make coffee and breakfast for his wife before she headed to work. He did not do it for recognition or to post about it online. He did it simply because he loved her. Another friend told me about his mother who slept in a chair beside his hospital bed for three nights in a row, refusing to leave until she knew he was safe. I think of a neighbor who quietly drives an elderly widow to her appointments every week, never asking for gas money and never making a big deal of it.

Those moments may not look like Valentine’s Day romance, but they are the truest expressions of love. Sacrifice in the small things.
Paul writes in First Corinthians 13:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Notice how he does not mention flowers, chocolates, or candlelit dinners. Not that those things are bad. They can be wonderful. But they are not the test of love. True love is revealed when it costs us something. Our time. Our pride. Our comfort. Sometimes even our dreams.

That is why I think it is worth remembering the origins of Valentine’s Day. Long before it became a holiday centered on romance, it honored a man named Valentine, a Christian priest in Rome during the third century. When Emperor Claudius outlawed marriage for young soldiers, believing single men fought better, Valentine defied the decree and secretly married couples in the church. When his actions were discovered, he was arrested and eventually executed. His Valentine gift was not roses. It was his life, laid down for his faith and for love.

And here is the connection that matters most. Jesus did the same for us. He gave up the glory of heaven, lived humbly, and willingly laid down His life so that we might live. That is the love that never fails.

So this Valentine’s Day, I will still buy a card for my wife and probably sneak some chocolate her way. I will still take her out to dinner or try to do something special. But more importantly, I will remember that love is not about what I can get. It is about what I am willing to give.

And I will ask myself the same question I will ask you. Am I showing the kind of love that reflects the heart of Christ. Not just in February. Not just in romance. But in daily sacrifice. The coffee made. The child comforted. The neighbor helped. The friend encouraged.

Because when it is all said and done, true Valentine love is not measured in gifts. It is measured in giving.

Growth:

How can you express a deeper, more sacrificial love to someone in your life this week.

Grace:

True love is measured not by what we receive, but by what we are willing to give.